When to Use “Who” vs. “Whom”

Who is used to refer to the subject of a sentence or clause (the person performing an action). Whom is used to refer to the object of a verb or preposition (the person being affected by an action).
Who and whom are both pronouns. Who is a subject pronoun (like I, he, she, we, and they), whereas whom is an object pronoun (like me, him, her, us, and them).
Try this simple trick when in doubt: If you can replace the word with he or she, use who. If you can replace it with him or her, use whom.

Even native English speakers are often confused about the correct use of who versus whom. Rest assured, following some simple rules makes correctly using these pronouns in your writing easier.

Here are some guidelines and examples to help you understand how to use who versus whom with confidence.

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When to use who

When to use whom

What’s the difference between who and whom?

Examples of who vs. whom

When to use who

Use who to refer to the subject of a sentence or clause. Who is a subject pronoun (like I, he, she, we, and they) that refers to the person or people performing an action.

Let’s look at some examples:

Martha is someone who values honesty above all else.

Who would like to go on vacation?

Who is the friendliest in the group?

The scientists who discovered the new planet were awarded a prize.

When to use whom

Use whom to refer to the object of a verb or preposition. Whom is an object pronoun (like me, him, her, us, and them) that refers to the person or people being affected by an action.

Here are some examples:

To whom was the letter addressed?

Frank is the one whom I admire most at work.

Whom do you believe?

Using whom to connect a relative clause to a main clause

Whom is also used as a relative pronoun to connect a relative clause to a main clause.

If the relative clause provides essential information, don’t separate it from the main clause with commas.

My professor is an intelligent woman whom I admire.

Separate the relative clause from the main clause with commas if it does not provide essential information.

Adam, with whom I work, shares my love of football.

With who vs. with whom

With whom is grammatically correct and used in more formal contexts or written English.

I do not know with whom I will go to the prom.

With whom are you going to prom?

With who is considered less formal and is more commonly used in casual or spoken English despite being grammatically incorrect.

With who are you going to prom?

Strictly adhering to correct whom usage in everyday conversation has declined. That’s why you’re probably more used to hearing who in general, even in cases where whom is grammatically correct. However, using whom correctly in your writing is important, particularly in formal documents, and can help make you sound more polished.

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What’s the difference between who and whom?

Who is the subject of a sentence or clause (who is performing the action), whereas whom is the object of a verb or preposition (whom is affected by the action).

Here’s how to tell the difference between these pronouns: Try substituting a subject pronoun (he, she, or they) for who or whom. Then, try replacing an objective pronoun (him, her, or them). If he, she, or they fits, you should use the subject pronoun: who. If him, her, or them fits, you should use the object pronoun: whom. As you test out this tip, you may have to rearrange the sentence temporarily.

When inquiring about the performer of an action, who is the appropriate choice. Consider the question “Who/Whom wrote the book?” If we rephrase the answer as “He wrote the book,” he aligns with who (each is a subject pronoun), indicating that who is the correct choice.

Let’s use another example: “Who baked this cake?” Here, who is the subject performing the action of baking the cake. Conversely, when inquiring about the recipient of an action, whom is used, as in “For whom was this cake made?” Here, it refers to the person for whom the cake is intended, making whom the object of the preposition for.

Examples of who vs. whom

Let’s explore some other examples of who versus whom.

Who/whom ate my sandwich?

Try substituting she and her: “She ate my sandwich” versus “Her ate my sandwich.” Because the pronoun is the subject of this sentence, the subjective she sounds right, and her doesn’t. That means the word you want is the subject pronoun who.

Who ate my sandwich?

Here’s another one:

Who/whom should I talk to about labeling food in the refrigerator?

Before we can try substituting they and them here, we need to notice something about this sentence: it’s interrogative, meaning it’s a question, and as with many interrogative sentences, the subject, I, doesn’t come at the beginning, but in the middle.

Turning it into a declarative sentence by moving the subject to the beginning and making it a statement instead of a question will make it easier to tell whether a subject or an object pronoun sounds more natural: “I should talk to they” versus “I should talk to them.” The objective them sounds right, so you need the objective pronoun: whom.

Whom should I talk to about labeling food in the refrigerator?

You can also use questions to determine when to use who versus whom. Are you using the pronoun to talk about someone who is doing something?

Who drives her mother’s car to school? Gina drives her mother’s car to school.

Yes, you are talking about someone doing something; the pronoun refers to the subject of the second sentence, Gina, so use who in your question.

Now, look at these sentences:

Whom did Gina pick up in her mother’s car today? Gina picked up Charlie in her mother’s car today.

In this case, we are not using the pronoun to refer to the subject of the sentences, the person doing something (Gina), but to refer to the person she is doing something for: Charlie. In other words, Charlie is the direct object of the verb pick up in the second sentence, so we know to use the object pronoun whom in the question.

If you think these examples sound slightly awkward, you’re not alone. Many people don’t use whom in casual speech or writing. Others use it only in well-established phrases such as “to whom it may concern.” Some people never use it at all. It’s not unusual in many everyday contexts to hear sentences like these:

Who do you believe?

Who should I talk to about labeling food in the refrigerator?

Maintaining the proper grammatical use of whom is still essential in formal writing and speech. Understanding the rules behind who versus whom helps you make an informed decision about which to use when.

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